Escape to Paradise: Perkes Hotel, Laganas, Zakynthos!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving HEADFIRST into the glorious, slightly chaotic world of Escape to Paradise: Perkes Hotel, Laganas, Zakynthos! Prepare yourself for a review that's less "tour guide robot" and more "your friend, spilling the tea over a badly made cocktail." I'm going to be brutally honest, maybe even a touch dramatic, because let's face it, you're not here for a dry list of amenities, are you?
First, The Lay of the Land & My Initial OMG Moment:
Laganas, Zakynthos. That's the party island, right? The one with the famous (and somewhat questionable) nightlife? I initially thought, "Perkes? Really? In that zone?" But, honestly? It’s a bit of a sanctuary. It is a bit of a walk from the absolute mayhem, which, depending on your mood, is either brilliant or a bit of a drag. (More on the mood later.)
Accessibility - Navigating the Hotel Maze (and My Clumsy Self):
Okay, real talk. I'm not going to pretend I know EVERYTHING about full-on wheelchair accessibility. But I did notice… Elevators? Yes! This is HUGE. Seriously, I've been in places where you're expected to haul your luggage up Mount Everest. The facilities for disabled guests section is definitely there but maybe not perfect in every room. (Check beforehand, obviously.) The front desk [24-hour] is a lifesaver when you arrive at 3 am bleary-eyed, and the exterior corridor looks pretty easy to navigate.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Where the Food Coma Begins (and Ends):
Alright, let's get down to the important stuff: FOOD. They have Restaurants. Multiple, even! And not just your standard greasy spoon. They offered a la carte in restaurant, so you aren't stuck with a boring buffet. The breakfast [buffet] was your standard affair but it's perfect for a late night, early morning. Think coffee/tea in restaurant, the poolside bar (essential!), and a snack bar for those 3 pm cravings. There's a vegetarian restaurant option, which is a major plus, even for this meat-loving soul.
SO, THE HAPPY HOUR I have to gush about. It was AMAZING. Seriously. It's that magical time of day where your inhibitions loosen and you decide to order all the colorful cocktails. The sunset views only add to the whole experience. I actually went back for a second round the next day.
Rooms: My Safe Haven (and occasional battleground):
I'll be real with you – the rooms are nice. Not flashy, but comfy and clean, and that seriously matters. Air conditioning is a MUST in Greece, and it worked like a dream. The bed? Extra long bed for extra comfort. The bathrooms are simple with a shower and toiletries. You've got your coffee/tea maker, and a mini bar to stock up on snacks. And those blackout curtains? Absolute lifesavers when you're trying to sleep off a serious case of "holiday-itis." Wi-fi was a godsend. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Internet access – wireless. I was able to upload my disastrous selfies.
But, here’s the messy part: the lighting wasn't the greatest. I spent approximately 15 minutes trying to apply my mascara because one lamp was out, and the other one was casting the most unflattering shadows. This is my rant section.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax - Spa Day Nirvana (Maybe After a Bloody Mary).
Okay, picture this: you wake up, bleary-eyed, and you know you need to de-stress from, you know, existing. You grab a breakfast [buffet] (a little greasy, like every good buffet) and mosey down to the Swimming pool. Forget the world! They have a Pool with view.
Then, the good stuff: the Spa. Seriously, the Spa/sauna is a total game-changer. I didn't get the Body scrub, but I did treat myself to a massage. It was an absolute godsend. Now I feel like a new person.
Then I had to write this review! I decided to catch up on some work from the laptop workspace, with a complimentary tea. Ah, bliss.
Cleanliness and Safety: Peace of Mind (and Lots of Hand Sanitizer):
Look, 2024 is weird. We all want to be safe! This hotel has the goods. From Anti-viral cleaning products to Staff trained in safety protocol. Daily disinfection in common areas, and Room sanitization opt-out available. I felt, well, safe.
Services and Conveniences - The Perks! (And the Small Annoyances):
Cash withdrawal made me happy, 'cause I needed to buy more food (duh). The Concierge made my life easier. The Luggage storage was lifesaver 'cause I had to check out at a weird hour. Daily housekeeping meant my room always looked decent, even though I was a chaos demon. The Dry cleaning, and Ironing service were awesome – though I didn't use them, because what am I, a queen?
Getting Around - The Adventure Begins (and Ends):
They have, Airport transfer to ease the pain of getting to the hotel, though it's not the best way to save money. And of course, a Car park [free of charge] so you can bring your own car!
For The Kids:
They have services for little ones, according to the website.
The Verdict, And The Juicy Offer: My honest take? Escape to Paradise: Perkes Hotel is a solid choice. It's not perfect. It wasn't love at first sight. It's not the Ritz. But for the price, the location (close enough to the party scene but far enough away to get some sleep), the spa, and the generally chill vibes? It's a winner.
Now, for my SUPER-DUPER-AMAIZNG offer, ONLY for YOU, my friends!
Book your stay at Escape to Paradise: Perkes Hotel, Laganas, Zakynthos BEFORE [Insert Date Here] and get:
- 20% off your first night, AND
- Complimentary welcome cocktails at the pool bar, AND
- A free spa package which is really fun!
Why book now? Because honestly, life's too short for boring vacations. You deserve this. you can have some proper fun. You need a break, and at Perkes Hotel, and there's a lot of ways you can do that. Book now before I book all the rooms, because, I'm thinking about it.
Don't miss out!! Go on, treat yourself. You deserve your escape to paradise.
Sóng Deluxe RV: Your Luxurious Vung Tau Getaway Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're not just planning a trip to Perkes Hotel in Laganas, Zakynthos. We're diving headfirst into it. Think of it as a chaotic, sun-drenched, ouzo-fueled symphony of screw-ups and accidental brilliance. Here's roughly what I’m thinking might happen, but let's be real… the Greek gods laugh at my plans.
The Perkes Hotel Pilgrimage - Estimated Time: 7 Days of glorious, messy chaos
Day 1: Arrival - Expect the Unexpected (or, "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Delayed Flight")
- Morning (or whenever the blasted plane actually decides to land): Land. Hopefully, not in the sea. I'm already picturing the airport – a sweaty, multilingual zoo of stressed vacationers. Border control? Pray for me, I’m terrible with paperwork. My passport photo makes me look like a wanted criminal. Taxi to Perkes. Pray AGAIN the driver doesn't take the scenic route (I’ve read the reviews… opinions are… divided).
- Afternoon: Check-in. Pray the room resembles the photos and not a damp, slightly moldy dungeon. Embrace the possible chaos of a slightly wrong room, and the need to negotiate with the staff for correction, and don't get lost in translation! Unpack. Locate the swimwear immediately. Deep breaths.
- Evening: First Laganas sunset. Seek out a taverna. Order something… anything that involves feta and olives. My stomach is already rumbling with anticipation for a genuine Greek salad, this time, with real olive oil! Settle in to be slightly overwhelmed by the first day's fatigue, and adjust to the new time zone.
- Rambling Thought: Did I pack enough sunscreen? No. Am I worried? Absolutely. But it's okay. It's supposed to be relaxing, right? Right?!
Day 2: Beach Bliss and Beginner's Mistakes
- Morning: Beach Day! The Perkes, I’m assuming, is close to the beach. Find it. Locate a sunbed. Master the art of not falling asleep face-first in the sand. Consider attempting a little bit of swimming.
- Afternoon: Lunch at a beachside taverna. Order something I can actually eat this time. Learn from the previous meal and don't order the "Mystery Meat Surprise." Hopefully it is delicious. Attempt to master a few basic Greek phrases ("Efharisto," "Yamas," "Where's the retsina, please?"). Probably butcher them spectacularly.
- Evening: Stroll down the Laganas strip. Witness the glorious carnage of the nightlife. Observe the young people and the rest of the mix of tourists and locals. Maybe, just maybe, brave a karaoke night. (Lord, help me.)
- Emotional Reaction: The sound of the sea is so calming… it can also be the sound of other people's conversations, which is… also a thing. And the excitement, mixed in with a big dose of self-doubt. Am I even cut out for this?!
Day 3: Turtle Spotting and the Sea of My Disappointment
- Morning: Boat trip! Supposedly, there are turtles. I've seen pictures… glorious, majestic turtles. This is my dream. Pray that I don't get seasick. Pack motion sickness medication. (I'm not a strong sailor.)
- Afternoon: Hopefully, successfully spotted turtles! Take a million blurry photos that capture the beauty of the ocean, but nothing much of the turtles. Learn to edit a bit.
- Rambling Thought: I'm pretty sure I'm more excited to see the turtles than I am to meet anyone, so please don't let the boat be a disaster.
- Evening: Dinner at the Perkes hotel! Or… somewhere else. Depending on the mood, and the food. Maybe a sunset cocktail somewhere, watching the fading colours over the water.
- Opinionated Language: I have a strong feeling that I will be able to finally relax and enjoy the time.
Day 4: Exploring the Island - A Clumsy Adventure
- Morning: Rent a car (or, if I'm feeling particularly brave, a scooter… yeah, probably not). Try to drive on the "wrong" side of the road without causing a major international incident.
- Afternoon: Visit some picturesque villages. Maybe Keri cliffs. Get lost. Probably.
- Evening: Authentic Greek dinner. Find a restaurant away from the tourist traps.
- Emotional Reaction: I'm so incredibly excited to see the island. It’s a bit nerve-wracking (driving!), but the potential for amazing views and an authentic experience… I’m in.
Day 5: Diving into Doubts - A Deep Dive into One Experience
- Morning: I signed up for a scuba diving lesson! Me. Who has a mild panic attack in a public swimming pool. This is a terrible idea. But also… exciting. I will probably panic underwater. I will probably swallow half the ocean. But I’ll also (hopefully) see some fish. And face my fears. Or, sink miserably to the bottom.
- Doubling Down: I WILL master the breathing. I WILL learn to equalise pressure. I WILL not scream into the regulator. I will. I have to.
- Afternoon: Hopefully, I did not die. Hopefully, I saw something cool. Probably require a long nap and several shots of ouzo to recover.
- Evening: After a long, exhausting day, time for a pizza. Maybe ask the locals for a better recommendation than a tourist trap.
- Opinionated Language: This day may break me.
Day 6: Relaxation, Recovery and Rummy
- Morning: Sleep! Or at least, try.
- Afternoon: Lounge by the pool. Read a book. Maybe play cards. Start to feel a bit sunburnt.
- Evening: Farewell dinner. Try to pick all the best dishes. Reflect on the trip. Make a toast.
- Rambling Thought: Did I actually do everything? Did I learn to swim correctly? Did I even manage to see all the things I planned to see? And am I ready to go home?
Day 7: Departure - Tears, Taxis, and a Touch of Regret
- Morning: Last breakfast. Pack. Take one last look at the ocean.
- Afternoon: Taxi to the airport. Attempt to squeeze all my souvenirs (and my newfound appreciation for feta cheese) into my suitcase. Say goodbye to Greece.
- Evening: Fly home. Already planning the next trip.
- Emotional Reaction: The end. But a little bit of my soul will stay here!
Important Disclaimers:
- This itinerary is highly flexible. It’s more of a suggestion than a strict schedule.
- Expect delays, unexpected events, and a healthy dose of chaos.
- Pack extra sunscreen.
- Learn a few basic Greek phrases. (Or at least, know how to order a beer!)
- Be prepared to laugh at yourself. A lot.
- Most importantly… enjoy the journey!
And remember, this is MY trip. Yours might be completely different. And that’s the beauty of it.
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Escape to Paradise: Perkes Hotel, Laganas - FAQs (Get Ready, It's a Trip!)
Okay, so, Perkes Hotel in Laganas... is it *really* paradise? I've seen the pictures...
Paradise? Let's just say, it depends on your definition. The pictures are... flattering. They certainly emphasize the pool (which *is* lovely, I won't lie). But let's be real, paradise is subjective, right? I'm thinking lush jungles and waterfalls, maybe a cheeky monkey stealing your sunglasses. Perkes? More like... sun, sand, and questionable karaoke. It's a vibe, alright. A decidedly *Laganas* vibe. Don't expect a pristine, Instagram-ready sanctuary. Expect some seriously sunburnt tourists and maybe a stray cat or two. But hey, the sun *is* glorious when it's not being swallowed by a cloud, and the cocktails are STRONG. And honestly? That's sometimes enough.
The pool looks amazing. Is it as good as it seems? Also, are there enough sunbeds? *Important question.*
The pool *is* genuinely lovely. Turquoise water, the whole shebang. And you know what? It’s often the only sane place to be after spending the day baking. Sunbeds... that's where things get a little…competitive. I’m talking a serious Hunger Games scenario, especially in high season. I saw a woman practically *sprint* at 7 AM, towel in hand, to claim her territory. I mean, the dedication! Get up early if you want a prime spot, or risk the dreaded "sunbed shuffle" - where you have to awkwardly squeeze between some sweaty strangers. And I'll be honest: sometimes you just *don't* get a sunbed. You're stuck on the grass, dealing with ants and the lingering scent of cheap sunscreen. Embrace the chaos. It's Laganas.
What's the deal with the food? I'm a picky eater. Do they cater to… me?
The food... look, it's not Michelin-star dining. It's more like "affordable fuel." Breakfast is often a buffet affair, with the usual suspects: toast, cereal, the mysterious "English breakfast" (often involving rubbery sausage and a fried egg that's seen better days). Lunch and dinner are a bit more hit-and-miss. Expect some Greek staples (the gyros are alright), but don't hold your breath for culinary masterpieces. If you're a picky eater, prepare to get *intimate* with the potato chips and maybe... just maybe... sneak in a Snickers bar or two from that little shop down the road. I survived on Greek salad and chips. And a healthy dose of denial about the calories.
The location...is it close to the beach and the famous Laganas nightlife?
Oh, honey. Close? Let's just say you can practically roll out of bed and *fall* into the heart of the Laganas madness. The beach is a short walk away (the sand is lovely, though the sea can be a bit crowded). As for the nightlife…it's *right there*. Prepare for loud music, flashing lights, and the constant, relentless *thump* of bass. It's not for the faint of heart. If you're after a quiet, romantic getaway, you've come to the wrong place. But if you're looking to party 'til dawn, stumble back to your room at 5 AM, and regret some *serious* decisions the next day, you're in the right spot. The hotel is close enough to the action that you can easily join, leave, or at worst, collapse into your room with a thousand regrets.
What about the rooms? Clean? Air-con?
The rooms… they're… functional. Let's go with that. Cleanliness can be a bit of a lottery. I had to ask for extra towels because the first ones looked like they’d been through a war. Air-con is a *must*. Believe me. You’ll be sweating like a pig in a sauna if you don't have it, especially during the peak months. Check that it works *immediately* upon arrival. And don't be surprised if the shower pressure is more of a *drip*. The walls, they're a little thin, so be prepared to hear the shenanigans of your neighbors. You might hear some seriously questionable karaoke next door, but you can always join in!
Okay, so Perkes sounds… interesting. Anything else I should know? Any specific tips?
Okay, deep breath. Things to know:
- **Pack earplugs.** Seriously. Nightlife. Need I say more?
- **Bring a beach towel.** One you don't mind getting sandy, and possibly, stained with who-knows-what.
- **Learn a few basic Greek phrases.** Even a "hello" and "thank you" goes a long way.
- **Embrace the chaos.** Laganas is a wild ride. Just go with it. Don't try to control everything.
- **Be prepared for the inevitable: a sunburn.** Apply sunscreen religiously, and then possibly again.
- **Seriously, the cats.** They're everywhere. They're adorable. They may try to steal your fries.
Is it good for families?
Hmm. Families... well, the pool *is* good for kids. There's a little shallow end. But, yeah, Laganas is… intense. The nightlife is very…adult. Loud music, drunken shenanigans. It's not exactly a family-friendly paradise. If your kids are teenagers, they might love it. Little ones? Think it through. Consider the earplugs… for *everyone*. I saw one family, and the parents, bless them, looked exhausted. The kids seemed happy, though. Mostly. It depends on what you're looking for.
Okay. One more thing… I heard something about the staff. What's the vibe with the people who work there?
The staff… it's a mixed bag. Some are super friendly and helpful, always smiling and ready to offer a tip on where to find the best souvlaki. Others... well, they might seem a little jaded. They've seen it all, the hangovers, the sunburnt tourists, the endlessWhere To Stay Now
